If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad

Well, I'm finally employed. Turning my application into Colonial yielded me a job in less than a week. And besides the comparatively extensive commute and near-minimum wage pay, I can't really complain about it either. Yet. I officially start tomorrow, so we'll see if there's anyone I want to kill then.

New experiences definitely make me happy. I have a new job, a new art project to start on, new music for band, and the rather unfamiliar experience of having my time regimented and prioritized due to commitment, which, at the very least, makes me feel like my life has a little more purpose to it.

Speaking of purpose, I'm officially inexcusably behind on my reading of The Purpose Driven Life. I'm on chapter 10, a solid 20+ chapters prior to where I should be. Needless to say, my other Lenten promise has been significantly more successful (Today marks 21st of the 40 days that I've been deprived of sweets, fast food, and everything else artery clogging and wonderful in the American diet). Though the last chapter I did, in fact, read in the book dealt with people's motives, and that gave me enough to think about during the next few days, in which the slacking resumed.

My conclusion about the reading was pretty much that motives (and by that I mean the reasoning/inspiration behind the things one says, does, and thinks) are extremely personal, and, by and large, make absolutely no sense whatsoever. According to Freud, sex is the underlying theme to everyone's actions, and while that may be true to some extent (and is rather easy to believe when one is surrounded by hordes of fellow teenagers with hormone issues), I have to believe there is more behind a person then blind physical desire. According to this book, the motive SHOULD be pleasing and/or praising God, but that's not the case in many a life.

Really, when you look at some of the things people do, it's a wonder humans are considered intelligent at all. We parade around in uncomfortable clothing for the sake of "fashion," cling to romantic partners who do nothing but abuse and reject those who offer love and support, throw ourselves off cliffs and airplanes for the sake of exhilaration, and work jobs we hate because of a psychosomatic delusion that it's too late to start over. It makes no sense. Under such scrutiny, people are stupid.

Under a broader microscope, though, it seems to me, and to the author of the book, that all people are trying to do is scurry around in a desperate attempt to do something noteworthy, purposeful, worthwhile, and exciting in order to lead a fun, dramatic, full life, and be set in the memories of those in this world or to set their place in the next. In that context, people aren't so much stupid as pitiful, since we don't know if what we do is in vain and useless or not.

I also have a tendency to think too much.

This world sold its fate for parking lots and drunk sincerity

Cathi and I went to go see The Crucible over at Central tonight, and it was probably the best play I've seen this year, aside from All State. Not that NVHS’s plays weren't good, but I prefer tragic dramas to outrageous comedy and drunk vampires. The acting was excellent, the set was well made, with a good use of scrims, and though John Proctor appeared to have a bit of a lisp, he still came out of it my favorite character.

My Lenten sweet/junk food abdication has been so far fairly successful, which is a fact I take some pride in. I've never really noticed before just how often I'm offered cookies.

And as for the Purpose Driven Life study at church, Ben brought up what I thought to be an interesting topic in our group tonight, that really had nothing to do with our topic of "fellowship, which had to do with the way people greet each other nowadays. The phrase "What's up?" isn't really a question as to the current events in one's life anymore, but more of a greeting. If person A greets person B with that question, person B must decide whether to actually respond with his take on his well being, or to reply ambiguitively with a response like "not much," or to reply to it as if it were another form of hello. Similarly is the development of the question "How are you?". Many times I hear someone inquire as to the health of another, only to get annoyed when their askee actually TELLS them exactly how well, or in many cases, unwell, they are feeling. It's true that there are some instances where replying with "Well, my boyfriend just dumped me for my cousin and I think I have an eating disorder..." wouldn't be appropriate. But that's beside the point.

I don't really like that people are so self absorbed and/or indifferent to not take the time to actually accept a proper response to a question that they initiate. It's like saying "Hey, I'm going to pretend I care for the sake of appearances, but in reality I'd just like you to give me a socially acceptably content response and move on."

That's a blatant exaggeration, of course, as I'm sure most people would be quick to argue that they really do have concern for those they ask those questions of. But I do think it's little things like that that make people like me sometimes feel like no one wants to hear anything but the pleasant things in life.

*steps off her random soapbox of nitpicky topics*

Anyway.

Annoyances of the week: American politics, wood stain, the unit circle, being single.