I've been awfully negligent of this here blog. Prior to the bone-dry drought of the past several months, since I began the blog at the age of 16, I'd never gone longer than two months without posting.
I could give a few different convincing-sounding reasons for my withdrawal, one of which I discussed in my last post, all the way back in April. Busyness is also a reason though not a good excuse, as I was demonstrably busier, for example, during my junior year of college. The single most prominent and pertinent reason I haven't been writing is that I've come to something of a crossroads when it comes to my attitude towards blogging. I've historically used this blog to write about topics more or less in the abstract: I write what I think about aging, or caffeine, or travel, or friendship, or holidays, or teaching, or feminism. I was bolder about my opinions when I was a teenager, and more inclined to spout off whatever was on my mind about a given topic, inwardly confident that what I wrote was clever and worth reading. I've shed a lot of that boldness (call it confidence, call it narcissism) over the years. I've developed a stronger and stronger internal voice that says, "What do you really have to say? Is it really worth the time, yours or anyone else's?" Any given topic has likely been written about more thoroughly, more poignantly, and with more wisdom by someone else.
The cold reality is that what I have to say has never been that important. What makes my blog interesting (if it is interesting) is what makes any personal blog interesting (if they are interesting), which is that they're personal. My blog is, first and foremost, a record of me and of how my brain is operating at any given moment. What I write about is secondary to the attitude, style, and manner in which I write. Wikipedia (or actual encyclopedias) exist for the times when we want to learn something.
This is an obvious but oddly difficult pill for me to swallow. Basically, I either need to give up blogging entirely or admit that it's acceptable to use this blog to bask in the mundane and the personal, trusting that the outcome will continue to be a record that I'll find interesting to revisit later in life.
I'm going to try to do a better job of pursuing the latter path in 2016. Let's start (belatedly) with my annual New Years post.
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Predictions of Varying Certainty for 2015:
- For the first time, I will sign up for and run a 5K or 10K race. I'll find it fun but not worth doing on the regular.
- At least one close friend will have a baby. I will hold that baby.
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GR and I will plan our wedding, and in defiance of everyone who insists
otherwise, we will find the process to be relatively simple and
stress-free.
- I will write at least one chapter of my dissertation.
-
I will seriously entertain the idea of visiting the British Isles but
will ultimately defer my trip to 2016 and not leave the country at all.
- I will attend at least one concert and/or theatrical performance.
- At least five close friends/family members will come visit me and GR in Boston.
How prescient I actually was:
- Failure. I came very close to signing up for a race here and there, and if I'd spent Thanksgiving in Naperville I'd almost certainly have done the local Turkey Trot. But alas.
- UGH, YOU GUYS. I KNOW, OKAY? I still haven't held a baby.
- A successful one! Our wedding was a couple weeks ago (more on that, probably, in a future post) and both the planning and the wedding itself were joyful and not really very stressful at all.
- Success! The chapter has yet to be vetted/officially approved by my whole committee, but I have one written!
- This is partially true, in that I didn't leave the country in 2015, but I also didn't really seriously entertain the idea of going to the British Isles this year, either.
- Both! Mid-year, GR and I went to an Ani DiFranco concert, fulfilling one of my lifelong dreams, and around Christmas we went with his family to see the Lion King on Broadway in Chicago. My Boston friends also took me to see a band called Sister Sparrow and the Dirty Birds as a bachelorette outing in December.
- Success with a vengeance! We got Hanzel and Emily and Chambers and Megan and Cathi and Alex and my mom and basically GR's entire immediate family and overall this was a real fruitful year for visiting.
Predictions of Varying Certainty for 2016:
- I'll get married to GR and we'll go on a super fun honeymoon to Puerto Rico.
- I WILL HOLD A BABY OR SO HELP ME GOD. The first baby I ever hold will be Megan's baby, and it will be glorious and I won't drop her. Even further, I'll get to hold more than one baby this year.
- I will go on a run that is over eight miles long (acknowledging that my longest run to date is six miles).
- I will sustain an injury of some sort which sends me to the ER, such as a minor break or stitches. (I don't hope this happens, but I sort of feel like I'm due, given my klutziness.)
- I will publish an article in an academic journal and present at least one conference.
- I will participate in a sport, game, and/or leisure activity I've never tried before (e.g., snowboarding, shuffleboard, Settlers of Catan).
- GR and I will visit New York City.
