Sugar, don't forget what you already know

So, I'm not very old. I'm about 20% or less done with my life, depending on modern science. I was born late enough in the 1980's that I can't really claim to relate to MTV's "I Love the 80's" without some serious lying. That being said, I think it's ridiculous that I already feel like one of those old people who complain about how kids today are too "soft."

I feel somewhat offended by how much cushioning goes into the average child raising process right now. I also feel like somewhat of a jerk for thinking that. But honestly, I can't help but look at super sanitized kitchens, "training toothpaste," and air conditioned strollers and think that I grew up (tumor free, I might add) with blunted Fisker scissors and impossible to open medicine bottles being the only specifically child-proofed things I can recall. I'm not sure when or how long it took me to learn how to use the toilet, but I'm pretty sure I did it without the benefit of "pull ups." And I don't think many of my toys were PhD approved to enhance my mental capabilities.

Not that Cathi and I roughed it or anything. I'm sure my parents used their share of then-modern child technology, and I blame the lack of preventive measures in my household on the fact that my mom had an arm around us most of the time. I also acknowledge (though have opinions about) the fact that some parents don't have time to, you know, watch their kids all the time and let sweet, sweet technology do the work. My issue, actually, is mostly with all the cleaning/medical measures that prevent your child from coming into contact with anything besides pure, filtered oxygen and hydrogen. I'm a believer in the idea that being exposed to a little dirt now and then beefs up your immune system and being a medical bubble only makes you susceptible to every disease imaginable if you're ever fortunate enough to break out of it.

And I'm still under 20. Imagine what my thoughts on the matter are going to be when I'm 40. My poor unborn children.

Anyway.

Speaking of kids, I've decided, as predicted, to quit Build-A-Bear due to my various other more enjoyable and therefore more important commitments. Which is a bit of a shame, since my 90 day "performance evaluation" today apparently concluded that I am, in fact, an effective bearmaker.

Yay to fun classes, productive teching, Munchkins, and sharks. Boo to brand new teachers, stereotypes, one 'o clock lunch, and seven hour shifts.

Goodbye, lay the blame on luck

Summer 2005 In Review:

Happy:

• Having a job, in the money making sense
• Brian being here
• Having the house to myself (freedom)
• Being relatively constantly social
• The fact that my body doesn't sunburn
  

Sad/Not Good:

• Not accumulating much money
• Brian leaving
• Having a job, in the working sense
• Procrastinating to the max
• Having the house to myself (groceries)

Stuff Done This Summer:

• Warped Tour
• Green Day concert
• Second City volunteering/show
• Michigan lake trip
• Gen Con
• Art museum
• Northwestern visit

Number of Movies Watched (approx): 31

Stuff Anticipated During the Upcoming School Year:

• Two art classes a day
• Turning 18
• Applying to college
• A sweet tech crew
• Graduation

In conclusion, this summer has seemed to uphold the familiar sensation of going by extremely quickly while the start of it, at the same time, seems logically far in the past, culminating into one relatively surreal blur of going places and sitting in basements. I suppose now life will go back to what I consider normal.

P.S. Does it say something about me or about society in general that I'm about 62% more likely to give money to a homeless man with a sign that says "Ninjas killed my parents. Need money for kung-fu lessons" than one that says "Haven't eaten in 3 days"?

I want to know how it feels to be useful and pertinent and have common sense

Well, I visited Northwestern today. Overall, it struck me as the Neuqua of colleges: Big, expensive, tons of activities, a trendy but ambitious population, and surrounded by a pleasant and severely groomed suburb. I think that may be why I liked it so much; it reminds me of home but on a larger scale.

Of course, the price for that good old fashioned homey feeling is about $40,000 and a 7/8 probability of rejection. But hey, I could always sell a kidney to cover the former and my soul for the latter.

So, not that I usually equate myself to Greek literature, but I think if I had to name one personal characteristic that would eventually bring about my downfall (aside from curiosity), it would be, a la tragic heroes, pride. And not the vain, "I'm freaking awesome" kind of pride. More like the kind of pride you didn't even know really existed until things like being underestimated or written off occur to suddenly make it painfully obvious. I can't stand (hate, even) the idea of being fooled, and I'll go to absurd lengths to make sure that people don't feel like they have some sort of edge over me. It's silly, for the most part.

I decided that if I personally had boundless wealth, besides being a lot less concerned about college, the most prominent change that would occur in my life would be my wardrobe. Things that wouldn't change include my zeal for Taco Bell, Theo as my transportation, and my utter loathing for designer purses.

Fun fact: I've had the screen name Linsnoopy for, I believe, about 8 years now. I find it amusing that despite that I created the name on a whim (I remember resorting to it after discovering "Snoopy8" and "PeanutsGang" were already taken on AOL) and that I've finally admitted to myself that I, in fact, enjoy Calvin and Hobbes more than Peanuts, I'm probably going to cling to this internet identity indefinitely.

Jenny: Maybe.

Me: Hopefully.

Jenny: i'd make some jaded comment about hope, but i'm all out

Me: You're too suburban to be jaded

Hope you remember me when you're homesick and need a change

Another entry?!?

After being technically "on my own" in my house (barring the presence of my sister) for a majority of the summer, I've noticed that besides the obvious absence of certain maternal family members, there's really only one noteworthy difference in lifestyle: I suddenly have to pay for crap that's always been supplied to me freely before. Like cereal. And band aids. And napkins. I'm used to only paying for personal things that will be around indefinitely (clothes, CDs, etc), so spending money on previously free things that will only be used up/consumed feels like throwing my money away.

So, I feel like I highly underestimate my inclination to procrastinate. Whenever I have a deadline, I always remember the fact that I have an innate ability to get things done moderately well and on time, so I tend to believe that no matter how many days I continue to put assignments off, it'll be okay, because it always works out in the end. Unfortunately, I also consistently seem to block out the fact that before I get things done, there is a period of time filled with gut-clenching worry and frenzied activity that finally gets me to where I need to be. I'm getting dangerously close to the clenched gut part right now. I have a feeling that if I follow the same pattern for completing college applications, my waves of cold apprehension might become a certifiable medical disorder.

I also have a feeling that when school comes around, I'm no longer going to be able to be employed at the magical land of Build A Bear. I know there are people out there who balance 15 classes, 8 extracurriculars, volunteer work, a job, and somehow find the time to paint their toenails, but I am not one of them. For one thing, I enjoy sanity. For another thing, I'm not a robot (perhaps contrary to popular belief).

To Do:

- Read Ceremony

- Finish 1-2 painting(s)

- Complete AP Calc math packet

- Shovel the rest of the mulch pile

- Start college essay writing

- Savor the rest of the summer?

You talk about the world like it's someplace that you've been

I have to admit, as much as I love going on vacation, I've noticed that upon return from my hiatus, more often than not within the next 24-48 hours I'm struck with the urge to drop off the face of the earth for a while, for various reasons. It's a bit of a downer.

Another downer: being frustrated, as a general condition, really sucks. It stems out of being forced into inaction or into a situation without favorable options, and I hate the thought that I can't mold a circumstance into something good. There's an inherent theme of futility in a frustrating situation, punching you in the face with the fact that squirming and pouting won't do anything to change some master plan that is, no doubt, already bent on your destruction. Which is an interesting contrast to my overall mantra of "things will always get better."

On the Mr. Brightside, the lake trip was amazing. I waterskied. I canoed. I ate a lot of cherries. I named a frog Stan and invented Kevin Gerard. I finally know exactly what one does on a dune. I semi-rocked out to Ashlee Simpson and I'm not sorry. Above all, I freakin' love my friends, which is something that's nice to be totally sure of.