This is the truth, the only time you'll hear it

I've been going on a lot of rants lately, but you're just going to have to deal with another. Désolé.

So, being the vaguely introverted, sarcastic, pseudo-nerdy person that I am, I get occasionally jealous of those extroverted, preppy, bubbly, frilly types of girls who generally get a lot of attention. I'm no attention whore, but I am a girl, and these things happen.

Since we're in hell week right now, there's a lot of those types of females running around in the form of actors and dancers, and watching them, I've come to the conclusion that I could probably fake that kind of girly extroversion if I tried hard enough. Which makes me wonder how many of those girls put on a bit of a show themselves, to some extent, because they know it'll get them attention from, say, the opposite sex. As irksome as it is, dumbing yourself down, acting cutesy, laughing frequently, etc can, and often does, work.

Really, the more I thought about it, the more solidified I became in that I don't think I ever even really considered compromising myself like that as an option. And not because I think I'm fantastically, mind-blowingly amazing or anything. If you think of social interaction as a game, changing yourself for the sake of others is like rigging the World Series (Damn Yankees plug!). You might be able to claim victory, but who cares when you had to sell your soul to do it? If I attracted someone by feminine ploys alone, I'd be at least curious to find out if the object of my alterations would still have interest in Linda sans charade.

So, I guess even though a part of me wishes I was a little more stereotypically charming, I'm not about to change myself to do it. Everyone's just going to have to deal with stoicism, practicality, and the occasional English lesson if they want to love me.

There was a conscious effort played by me to disown anything I see

A combination of my various internet pursuits and boredom over the years has brought me to quite a few blog and online diary sites, and I'd have to say in over 80% of them, when a category for "occupation" is present, "artist" will be listed. Besides the fact that, strictly speaking, the word "occupation" suggests payment for services and I doubt many of them actually receive fundage for art, I'm baffled that so many people would consider themselves artists.

To me, "artist" is almost a presumptuous term. A child who glues dry noodles to a piece of paper doesn't create art, he creates a noodly piece of paper and probably a mess. He didn't have any thought or meaning behind it, any experience or technique, etc. Similarly, even though I draw and paint (granted with a little more skill than your average preschooler), I do not consider myself nor ever refer to myself as an artist. The paintings and drawings I make aren't significant works, and usually don't have any structured aforethought, though I could probably make up something pretty elaborate and profound-sounding after the fact. Claiming to be an artist, in my mind, presents the impression that you A) regularly spend a good portion of your time creating some form of fine art, B) have some sort of theme, substance, or personal style, and C) are successful and talented in communicating those ideas.

But wait, doesn't that mean that you have to be good at art to be an artist? Yes. Doesn't that mean you have to be dedicated and know what you're doing? Yes. Not many people are artists.

So next time you're tempted by the allure of the artist's original, brooding, deep, misunderstood genius stereotyped persona to fill in that little bubble, stop yourself and ask the following simple question: Is a more suitable option present? Are you truly a God gifted artist, or would perhaps "student" be more appropriate? Choose wisely.

I'm in the moment. The one where nothing matters, and everything's alright

Second entry in 36 hours. I can stop anytime I want.

Due to already apparent evidence, I've resigned myself to the fact that in some way, shape, or form I'm going to eventually morph into some strange combination of my parents. Considering that my parents seem to be in most ways polar opposites, I think the outcomes of my sister's and my climbs to adulthood are likely to be quite the lab experiment. Though in some ways I find this inevitable transformation alarming, I've decided to compile a list of the positive things that might come out of it:

From my mom:

- General intelligence

- An appreciation for living for the moment

- Laid-back attitude

- Regarding life with a quirky outlook and a grain of salt

- The ability to roll with the punches

- Admittance of past mistakes and the ensuing learning experiences

From my dad:

- Ultra intelligence

- Rationality and the ability to obtain a removed perspective

- Unconditional and expressed support

- An insatiable desire to expand intelligence

- Faith

- The ability to truly listen and give educated advice

Characteristics I possess that I can already attribute to one or both of my parents:

- The inability to provide a concise, direct answer to anything

- Affinity for computers and other similarly nerdy things

- Nitpicky-ness

- The habit of sticking in unnecessarily large, though appropriate, vocabulary words into everyday conversation (which, though a positive thing from a literary standpoint, I believe occasionally just makes me seem like I'm trying to sound smarter than YOU)

- General emotional detachment

Incidentally, is anyone else sincerely put out when they witness adults exhibiting childlike or somehow immature behavior? I have these grand illusions that by the time I reach 30 all my melodramatic teeny bopper impulses will diminish with my eyesight, hearing, and bone density. Occasional reaffirmations that adults are fallible humans, too, somehow makes me lose that much faith in the aging process.

We're only just as happy as everyone else seems to think we are

Why Peer Pressure Doesn't Really Exist (And Other Partially Untrue Theories)

There's a quote that I enjoy which says something like "Don't judge people by who they're in love with. People fall in love with the most atrocious people. Take a cool, appraising look at their pals." And in the ambiguous realm of judging others, I guess "friends" is up there as a fairly accurate way to do so, though "knowing the person" might still take the cake. After all, people generally relate to and have things in common with those they choose to befriend. Relationships are usually formed between people of similar intelligence, values, interests, or aspirations, and though "peer" is defined as pretty much anyone of a general age group, I believe in most circumstances the word is intended in reference to these people with whom you share such a relationship.

You know, parents and teachers love to chalk up all sorts of things to the powerful and elusive lure of peer pressure, usually entailing the general rebellious and/or self damaging behavior of teenagers, as if all camaraderie before the age of 25 is based on the blind flow of popular opinion. I think the generic image of that horrible pressure is a particular variety of anti-smoking ad, where one wholesome teenager is surrounded by five or six of his "friends" who are all pressuring him to try a cigarette or something.

In real life, I believe that situations like these, though commercially fabricated with good intention and a healthy Captain Planet message, are likely to never occur, based on purely logical reasoning. If these people around your wholesome self really are friends (as opposed to "friends"), they'd do the Full House thing and respect your beliefs, making it not difficult for you to accept or decline invitations as you see fit. Or, and what I think is usually the case, your friends are people with similar morals as yourself, and wouldn't try to entice you with something so contrary to your character in the first place.

But in the event this situation does occur, and you find yourself surrounded by a group of individuals waving something in front of your face, I honestly don't believe it's that hard to simply stick with what you believe in. If these people are your friends, they'll still love you if you decide not to (drink/vandalize/smoke/steal from children). And if they're "friends," then what do you have to prove, and/or what possesses you to be around these people in the first place? If you're a giver-into peer pressure, it's because you weren't really against (doing drugs/stabbing people/telemarketing/grand theft auto) to begin with. Don't blame the inescapable force of peer pressure.

Some rules are made with all intentions to break, and she defends it with a warped rationale

Awesome things:

1) I've officially gotten myself a summer job at Build-A-Bear, without having to choose between it and the musical. The manager told me it was no problem to just do training a bit later and start in mid May. I'll be paid $6.75 an hour, $.25 above minimum wage and $1.25 better than my last job.

2) Tech continues to progress smoothly and efficiently.

3) The master fitness plan I concocted a while ago is still up and running (up and running...it's an exercise joke).

4) My mom's finally made the decision to move to GA this summer. While it might feel odd to live at my dad's 24/7 and not see my mom, I'm glad she finally came to a conclusion and I think it's the right thing for her to do.

Anti-Awesome things:

1) I'm not dating Brad Pitt.

2) Even if I was dating Brad Pitt, I'm not at an age where that wouldn't be really creepy.

Consensus:

There really isn't anything for me not to be thrilled about right now. I think my brain is somehow trying to convince me there's something I should be worried about or concerned over, but in actuality, I'd say I'm just about at maximum contentment capacity.

Linda's Insight of the Day (LID?):

I've decided, using personal history as a point of reference, that about the only way to fall out of my graces for an indefinite period of time is to do something that really offends me and not be remorseful about/give justification for it. There are plenty of things that people I love have done that have upset or disappointed me, and I've fairly easily forgiven or come to terms with nearly all of it, except for those few and random cases where I received neither apology nor explanation. And the people associated with those cases are almost exclusively the ones who hold that special place in my heart reserved for the people who I don't really care to be around anymore.

Making up the rest of that place include people who take themselves way too seriously, people who deliberately deceive others, and people who breathe really loudly out of their noses.