You know, I've never been able to do stream of consciousness writing. Apparently some people can just sit down at a keyboard/notebook and write down the first things that pop into their heads and it ends up as an interesting rant, or something poetic. When I sit down at a keyboard the only things that pop into my head are song lyrics and simple sentences about shallow occurrences. When I write, it has to be with purpose, which is usually why I end up going on tirades on random topics. When I have a subject, I can go on all day.
Other things I can't do include whistling, skateboarding, waltzing, reading when there's any noise in the room, playing brass instruments, speaking French without sounding very American, and sitting through a horror movie without jumping spastically.
I'm still fighting this seemingly constant war with my mother caused by the discrepancies between her logic and mine. The latest battle: the debate of whether or not we will be allowed to go to VA due to a bad vibe felt by my maternal parent. The fact our trip might be cancelled doesn't bother me as much as the fact it doesn't surprise me. It seems I can't go half a week without getting into some disagreement about matters that I didn't even know were an issue. It also seems that our constant bickering could go under the generalized expectation that teenage daughters are bound to fight with their mothers. In which case, I'll be again disappointed by how stereotypical I really am, despite what I'd like to think. But how am I supposed to know whether those surges of irrationality are real, or if they're only perceived as such through my own teenage irrational mind?
I'm tired of thinking about it. I'm also tired of being frustrated. Maybe that's why I've been out walking/running/biking/climbing more than usual. It's a good way to forget about things and enjoy the activity.
Fireworks displays are another good distraction. They never fail to awe me.
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