Just say hello and head to firmer ground

I'll throw it out there: I'm pretty sure we can all blame Dove for Social Justice Advertising. I'm referring to those advertisements that proclaim to be wholeheartedly committed to addressing a serious social problem (a lady social problem, usually) while also maybe selling something along the way (to ladies). The prototype is, I think, the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty, which was launched in 2004. According to the website, its purpose was to "provoke discussion and encourage debate"—specifically by "featuring real women whose appearances are outside the stereotypical norms of beauty. The ads asked viewers to judge the women’s looks (oversized or outstanding? and wrinkled or wonderful?), and invited them to cast their votes at campaignforrealbeauty.com."

That description doesn't even try to hide the fact that there's something dodgy about these otherwise "awww"-inducing ads. Tell us how much you hate how society passes judgment on your body by rating these women online! Resist media pressure to subscribe to conventional beauty standards, but for God's sake, make sure your skin is soft and blemishless. Modern advertising depends on making consumers feel lacking or insecure. Practically every terrible body-related social pressure you experience in your everyday life is facilitated by ad agencies. If we feel doubtful that Dove really has our best interests at heart, it's with good reason.

And yet, most people would agree that Dove's strategy is preferable to, say, A&F's "Be skinny or no one will like you" advertising model. And even if Dove's pure-hearted commitment to reducing the scrutiny of women's bodies is questionable, I do think the excessive scrutiny of women's bodies is a problem, and so some good is probably being done by way of capitalism. And it must be a workable financial model, since more companies are getting on board with positive-message advertising.

The Pantene hair care company—long famous for promoting vitamin-infused, butt-length tresses—has more recently gotten into the Social Justice Ad game with their "Sorry" commercial, which tackles the (apparently?) widespread social problem of women apologizing a lot in everyday situations that don't necessarily require sincere apologies. (Don't men do this, too?) The ad advises women to stop apologizing and to "shine" instead. As Megan Garber at the Atlantic quips: "shine as in your hair, and also, presumably, as in your spirit." While it's not at all clear how "shining" functions as a replacement for "sorry," the second half of the ad more helpfully recommends that women replace their "sorrys" with "sorry not sorry," which is absolutely the worst and most annoying hashtag-based catchphrase since YOLO.

Based on my previous posts that detail my innate desire to be the politest person in the world, it's probably no surprise that I'm one of the people who says "sorry" all the time. I say "sorry" when I bump into someone on the street, and also when someone bumps into me on the street. I say "sorry" when making my way through a crowd. I say "sorry" if I need to get a stranger's attention. I say "sorry" if I want someone to move out of my way. I occasionally (if accidentally) say "sorry" to dogs and inanimate objects.

Although I admit that I'm a bit conflicted about my larger pattern of excessively polite behavior, I can't get behind the Pantene ad. It's a bridge too far in terms of how ashamed I'm willing to feel about being polite. 

I find it insulting that Pantene thinks that my "sorrys" are a problem. The ad implies that the only people who ever blurt out the causal "sorry" are cowering, timid ladyfolk who feel the need to apologize for their very existence. I firmly believe that "sorry" is a utilityword that should be employed, frequently and unapologetically, by all. With two little syllables, "sorry" allows you to say: 

"Hey, person(s) within earshot! I'm doing something that may or may not affect you! It's probably not a big deal, but please don't be mad about it! I respect social norms, and you by extension!"  

In most contexts, it's not even really an apology; it's an announcement that you're going to be imposing just a little bit into someone's life. (If you need to really apologize, you say "I'm sorry," obviously.) Pantene's commercial grates because the company is unnecessarily piling on to that very real conundrum I described in my last post, the Should women be demanding more time/space/attention? problem that all women face. And they're doing so for profit. (And, I guess, for shiny hair.)

So—sorry Pantene, but I think you're the wrong type of Social Justice Ad. Perhaps you owe me an apology.