I don't want to risk our paths crossing some day, so you walk that way, I'll walk this way

You know, for a long while there, 2016 was shaping up to be one of the most objectively amazing years of my life. I guess it still was. This was the year I got married. The year I gained three baby nieces (one related by blood, one related by marriage, and one related by BFF-ship). The year I won a fellowship that will enable me to finish my PhD in a mostly timely manner. The year Gilmore Girls got revived for an enjoyable, four-supersized-episode run. The year the Cubs won the World Series. Everything was coming up Martin.

This was also supposed to be the year the U.S. got its first woman president. It didn't happen -- it so dramatically didn't happen that it's still sometimes difficult to believe that we're truly living in this, The Darkest Timeline -- and the disappointment was crushing. It's still crushing. It made the entire year, in a retrospective Shyamalan-like twist, feel like a failure. Earlier this month, in an article whose content is more astute than the title makes it sound, the A.V. Club wrote that "The definitive meme of 2016 was 'fuck 2016.'" In addition to all the big, serious reasons to feel anxious right now, in a small, selfish, and petty way, I'm angry that the presidential election has managed to basically ruin 2016 for me, personally, right as I was crossing the finish line. It's now impossible to feel like this was an amazing year without attaching a big, honking asterisk to the sentiment.

Predictions of Varying Certainty for 2016:
 - I'll get married to GR and we'll go on a super fun honeymoon to Puerto Rico.
 - I WILL HOLD A BABY OR SO HELP ME GOD. The first baby I ever hold will be Megan's baby, and it will be glorious and I won't drop her. Even further, I'll get to hold more than one baby this year.
 - I will go on a run that is over eight miles long (acknowledging that my longest run to date is six miles).
 - I will sustain an injury of some sort which sends me to the ER, such as a minor break or stitches. (I don't hope this happens, but I sort of feel like I'm due, given my klutziness.)
 - I will publish an article in an academic journal and present at least one conference.
 - I will participate in a sport, game, and/or leisure activity I've never tried before (e.g., snowboarding, shuffleboard, Settlers of Catan).
 - GR and I will visit New York City.

How prescient I actually was:
 - Success! The wedding was perfect, Puerto Rico beautiful. What I didn't predict (what no one, perhaps, could have predicted) was that our pastor would actually quote the "Mawwwiage" scene from The Princess Bride during the ceremony.
 - Oh hell yes. I'm a baby-holding machine now. Come at me.
 - Failure. However, thanks to the 10K GR and I ran in October, I did belatedly complete one of my predictions for 2015, which was to run a road race for the first time.
 - I'm afraid I might've jinxed GR with this one. While I didn't wind up with any stitches or breaks, he suffered his first-ever bone breakage when he dropped a 45lb gym weight on his toes a few weeks ago, sending him to the Urgent Care Clinic.
 - Half success. I did present at the MSA, but the article I intended to publish was instead treated to a series of rejections, so that one's still pending.
 - Does running in that 10K count? If not, then failure.
 - Yeesh, another failure. We did visit Denver/Breckenridge and Nashville, though, and I traveled to Pasadena for the aforementioned MSA conference.


Predictions of Varying Certainty for 2017:
 - Guys, this is terrifying, but: I will defend my dissertation and earn my PhD.
 - I'll go on the academic job market. I'll dislike the rigamarole, possibly intensely, but will admit that the process is enriching.
 - I will finally visit London. Before I do, I will renew my passport, which has expired.
 - GR and I will consider moving apartments but will ultimately decide to stay put in our current pad, despite the annoying construction happening next door.
 - I'll learn to cook in a more real and grown-up way that involves finding and trying new recipes for me and GR to both enjoy, rather than cycling through the same six-ish basic meals on a continuous loop, which is what I've been doing since college.
 - I'll have a real-life celebrity sighting. (Because I live in neither LA nor NYC, to date, my most brag-worthy celebrity encounter is shaking hands with George Wendt in 2005. This is the bar I need to clear.)
 - I'll go rock climbing for the first time in roughly eight years. I'll have fun but will be very disappointed indeed in my noodly arms.