Rely a bit too heavily on alcohol and irony

So, I think that if you're perceptive enough, it becomes impossible to know what it's like to really trust anyone.

Trust is kind of an elusive thing to begin with. In everyday context, it usually refers to a position of vulnerability: if I give someone my heart, a secret, or my priceless collectible ceramic monkey, I trust that he won't damage, betray, or break it. Trust requires an act of faith and the acknowledgment that at the end of the day, my ceramic monkey might end up in pieces.

I'd think, however, that if you surround yourself with friends about whom you know enough to have a firm grasp of their character, that step of faith never needs to be taken. If you only distribute your secrets to those who you know beyond a shadow of a doubt have the capacity to keep them, is there really any trust involved? If you know your friends to the point where you can foresee where potential issues and injury might arise and as a result do your part to preemptively shield yourself from them, haven't you made yourself invulnerable? Claiming to "trust" someone only after you have such extensive interpersonal knowledge is like allowing them to have the ceramic monkey in their possession only after you've already wrapped it in Styrofoam, sealed it in an airtight chamber, and negotiated a $25 deductible.

Assuming all this is true, the only people you can truly claim to trust are those you aren't fully acquainted with, because they actually require that uncertain brand of confidence. For everyone else, any cry of "broken trust" (shifts of character or personality notwithstanding) could actually be invertedly blamed on a lack of foresight on your part.

That seems kind of twisted.