Keep the blood in your head and keep your feet on the ground

Some days I really feel like I devote all my time to trying to control some sort of all-encompassing complex system of balances, carefully distributing my time, my energy, my sleep patterns, my attention, my money, and guiding how each of those are carried out, rather than actually living and enjoying what's going on around me.

I've discovered that there are a bunch of entirely random topics that for some reason I speak rather passionately about, despite the fact that I don't think I really have that much invested interest in them. About how much I hate Hummers, for example. Or pre-ripped jeans. Or internet slang. You know, important topics.

That kind of makes sense, though. I'm a big wimp when it comes to taking a stand on controversial or frequently debated topics, partially because I'm tired of them, and partially because I comprehend good points on both sides of the issue and thus can't take a stance. That's what makes them so, you know, debatable. So I take vehement stances on things that have very little impact on anyone or anything and that won't get people mad at me. Chances are I have pretty firm opinions on pretty much anything that doesn't particularly matter, like how stupid buying expensive purses is.

So, I have this ongoing theory that almost all behavior considered childlike (throwing tantrums, getting into fights with your friends every other day, getting distracted by shiny things, etc) never actually disappears with maturity. I don't think people ever grow out of that sort of thing, just kind of internalize it. Like after having an unbelievably frustrating day and that one last thing caps the top, you might experience a sort of little explosion in your head and scream on the inside, as opposed to throwing yourself on the floor and flailing around like you might've when you were wee. And take emotions like feeling left out, which people tend to associate with sulky children with no friends. I think the feeling of getting picked last for gym class soccer and the feeling of being the only one of your relatives not invited to a wedding are very similar, except they call it "rejection" later on.

And, naturally, the getting distracted easily by shiny things continues on, too, except "shiny things" become metaphors for things like electronic gadgets (actually, those ARE usually shiny), the stock market, and certain other amusements that become increasingly prevalent after puberty.