We're only just as happy as everyone else seems to think we are

Why Peer Pressure Doesn't Really Exist (And Other Partially Untrue Theories)

There's a quote that I enjoy which says something like "Don't judge people by who they're in love with. People fall in love with the most atrocious people. Take a cool, appraising look at their pals." And in the ambiguous realm of judging others, I guess "friends" is up there as a fairly accurate way to do so, though "knowing the person" might still take the cake. After all, people generally relate to and have things in common with those they choose to befriend. Relationships are usually formed between people of similar intelligence, values, interests, or aspirations, and though "peer" is defined as pretty much anyone of a general age group, I believe in most circumstances the word is intended in reference to these people with whom you share such a relationship.

You know, parents and teachers love to chalk up all sorts of things to the powerful and elusive lure of peer pressure, usually entailing the general rebellious and/or self damaging behavior of teenagers, as if all camaraderie before the age of 25 is based on the blind flow of popular opinion. I think the generic image of that horrible pressure is a particular variety of anti-smoking ad, where one wholesome teenager is surrounded by five or six of his "friends" who are all pressuring him to try a cigarette or something.

In real life, I believe that situations like these, though commercially fabricated with good intention and a healthy Captain Planet message, are likely to never occur, based on purely logical reasoning. If these people around your wholesome self really are friends (as opposed to "friends"), they'd do the Full House thing and respect your beliefs, making it not difficult for you to accept or decline invitations as you see fit. Or, and what I think is usually the case, your friends are people with similar morals as yourself, and wouldn't try to entice you with something so contrary to your character in the first place.

But in the event this situation does occur, and you find yourself surrounded by a group of individuals waving something in front of your face, I honestly don't believe it's that hard to simply stick with what you believe in. If these people are your friends, they'll still love you if you decide not to (drink/vandalize/smoke/steal from children). And if they're "friends," then what do you have to prove, and/or what possesses you to be around these people in the first place? If you're a giver-into peer pressure, it's because you weren't really against (doing drugs/stabbing people/telemarketing/grand theft auto) to begin with. Don't blame the inescapable force of peer pressure.